Flourishing

Ah, what a wonderful, oft overlooked quality and yet one that holds so much [promise for the future of humankind. So many conditions can hem in this state of natural abundance, we forget that it is achievable, sustainable and that exponential growth and abundance are actually a rule in natural systems, rather than an exception. Imagine, if you will, a forest. To make it a bit easier to fathom, try imagining a single acre (.6ha). In my part of the world, the temperate region, a common estimate for trees per acre is between three hundred and three hundred and fifty mature trees in a climax forest. To the average casual observer, it would appear to be in a relatively steady state. However, if each tree is growing a ring of new tissue each year, the number of board feet of wood in that acre would be increasing perhaps only by what seems like a small percentage, but multiplied by several hundred trees, it is quite a large amount.
Healthy ecosystems always have a certain rate of death and destruction as well, but in each and every case, the death of one organism provides habitat for hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of other organisms. There is no trash in the woods, unless humans put it there. Each bit of living tissue becomes food or shelter for other living creatures upon death, sometimes in epiphytic relationships, the habitat that is provided by living organisms is mutually beneficial, or at least the death of the host organism is not necessary. There are thousands of mutually beneficial associations in nature and both creatures can flourish in the presence of one another. Forests are again a ready example of how this can work. billions of spores waft on the wind, in search of just the right moisture, temperature and conditions to make their life process possible. A single spore can ultimately become a non-plant, non-animal organism that stretches miles, if given optimal conditions. Fungi produce food for creatures, are primary decomposers and are often completely forgotten by casual observers because they spend the majority of their life cycle hidden amongst leaf litter and forest soils. the actual fruiting body is just a temporary phenomenon, peculiar in that it only lasts for time periods on the order of days, whilst the mycelium that the fruiting body (the part we see) grows from can live hundreds of years.
I know that many of us are anthropocentric, so finding ways to help our children flourish, as well as ourselves is perhaps slightly more important to most people than helping the creatures who also live in our environment to do well. One of my recent lessons came from an educational researcher who reminded me of the need to switch up a bit in child rearing. for decades, people have taught their children that they are smart, often repeating that mantra tens of thousands of times over the child's lifetime. This can actually handicap the child later in life because when they run up against challenges that do not fit into their skill set, they wonder why, if they are so smart, they are haviung a hard time solving the problem. Instead, we should take the time to use phrases like, "I like the way you approached the problem in a creative way." or "I think it was good to ask for help before you got frustrated.", phrases that instill a sense of curiosity in the face of adversity, adaptability over mastery. I used to tell my children frequently that they had good ideas, but that often the best ideas come from just taking a break, doing something different and coming back later so that they would have a fresh eyes to view the problem at hand.
Part of flourishing is to adapt, change and grow into new situations and that is something that natural systems excel at. Some things that we can all do to enhance the ability of one another to flourish is to stop consuming rampantly, step back from all that is sold to us, on every level. The only thing that flourishes under the current power and control structures are the wealth of the ruling class. We can see this at work in virtually every aspect of our "modern" life. NASCAR for instance encourages us to put the pedal to the metal when what is needed is a featherweight foot on the accelerator. millions are spent telling our daughters that they are overweight and unattractive when what they desperately need is self confidence. Politicians tell us that there is a one size fits all educational scheme that can be imposed on our children when individualized instruction has been proven to be superior on every level, save cost. There are even those (and you know who they are in your area) telling the fiction that government needs to be run like a business. Nothing could be further from the truth. Flourishing requires access to healthy food, water and shelter. Beyond these things, our species, as well as many others, require love and affection, the understanding and meaningful communication of other beings.
I have often said that I speak for the trees, but they are dependent on pure, clean water so I find myself speaking for the water as well. As we adapt and change in ways that help us in a single area, we find proficiencies in other areas as well, as long as we continue to pay attention and integrate new knowledge. Human beings are meaning making machines and we can do nothing else. If we accept what we are told, it will lead to the demise of not only our own selves, but the entire species. Well-funded interests are fighting to stay in charge, wrest the last of everything out of the Earth to make a profit for themselves. nothing will flourish under these conditions but the proliferation of lies that they will concoct to keep us out of their hair while the dirty work is done.
The Earth is in the balance and if we are to flourish as a species we must make peace with the natural systems upon which we depend.

Toward Encouraging Healthy Leadership

Parenting has the power to shape the future. Having been raised as and trained to be a teacher, I have had a unique opportunity to be exposed to reams of data about raising children to be all that they can be, as well as what poses the greatest threat to their intellectual capacity and emotional health. Having raised three exemplary individuals who are making positive contributions to their environment and community, I feel especially qualified to guide others on their own parenting experience. Please feel free to question me further on any of these issues, I am always open to integrating new ideas and information, honing my own parenting style and my own teaching techniques. Parenting is the most important job on the planet and has the ability to shape future generations across the ages.

 We must teach the next generation, for their good as well as our own. The future of our entire culture rests on the foundational knowledge passed on to the next generations. Negative risk taking should be discouraged, such as violence and thrill seeking, smoking, alcohol abuse, addictive and dangerous drugs, etc. There will be times that young people will need our help, affirmation or protection. However, all children are going to want to spread their wings. They have to try things on their own. Adults must let them. Let these few tips guide you when developing your unique parenting style.

Help them learn to take calculated risks. Talk ideas over with them, point out possible outcomes and help prepare them for what they may find. Then, let them do it. Your primary job is to prepare your child for how the world really works, making sure that they are still alive when they finally fly to coop.

Discuss choices. Prepare them for possibilities and teach them how to both, win and lose, gracefully. Remind them that they may not get all they want and encourage them to face the consequences of their decisions.

Share stories of your own “risky” experiences. Help interpret them. This is one of the hardest pieces of parenting advice for most people. Sheltering our young from our own learning experience assures that they will suffer through making many of the same mistakes we had to. Because we’re not the only influence on our children, we must be the best influence.

Instead of tangible rewards, just spend time together.  Be careful not to teach them that emotions can be covered up by a trip to the mall or burying yourself in work. Children are often smart enough to realize that they don’t want to grow up to participate in their parent’s world, but if they learn from us that there is no other choice, it can lead to very dangerous consequences, depression, mal-adaptive and self-abusive behaviors.

Encourage positive risk taking. It may require encouragement, but get them used to trying new things in safe ways and pursuing as many opportunities as they can. Help them understand that they will never know if they like something unless they try it.

Don’t let guilt get in the way. Your number one job is not to placate your own feelings of guilt or inadequacy by giving your children everything. Never use guilt as a tool to exact compliance either. The surest way to raise a damaged child is to let them see you trying to overcome your own guilty conscience through them, or by instilling these toxic emotions in them.

Do not praise or reward the basics. If any relationship is based on constant praise or material rewards, we experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love. Certain activities are necessary for health, survival and living with others. Basic levels of functioning are not to be celebrated or praised excessively; it is just what we all must do. Taking on additional responsibilities or going over and above what is expected can be noteworthy, but some things in life are just that. The reward is that others do those same things.

Acknowledge intelligent risk-taking and hard work. Help children to see the advantage of both. Be a living example, showing them that stepping out of our comfort zone usually pays off. Communicating our own process and encouraging them to take on both freedoms and the responsibility that comes with it allows them to flourish.

Your child does not have to love you every minute. In fact, if you are doing your job well, occasionally they won’t. We all must learn to get over disappointment and failure but we don’t being spoiled. Let your children fail, let them fall, and let them fight for what they really value.  Treating our kids as if they are fragile creates fragile adults. We only have a short time to prepare them for the world that awaits them. Our world needs resilient adults not fragile ones.

Earth

The frost has come out of the ground...many believe that the earth is waking up, but the bio-dynamic folks see things a bit differently. For many of the deep ecologists and earth worshipers, we recognize that the Earth is most awake and alive in the depths of winter. The unmistakeable crystal clarity of a below zero (sub -16C) day is often one of the best times to see the Earth aware, awake and alive. Seeing it in this clarity, just for itself, can help us come to terms with our relationship with it. What people recognize this time of year is all the creatures that inhabit the planet having their way with it. The creatures acting upon it and making their living in or on it are masking the being that is the planet. A farm, village or town, even a single residence or park lie upon the surface of the planet, each having their own ecology, their own relationship with place, but for the Earth itself to express what it truly is, the best time to see and understand it is when the life upon it has been reduced to stasis or has been inactivated by stillness. The long nights and short days of winter are often the best time to get in touch with the land, the energies of place and the geographic identity of the land itself. Now that the frost has come out of the ground, we are looking at many things, but none of them are the foundation of life itself.

We saw the first robin eating the first worm this first week of April. As soon as they are able, the creatures begin to overwhelm the land with such a profusion of life that we often forget that the Earth itself is separate and distinct from the life upon and within it. When we act upon the planet, we may work from the neck down, but having the heart of the land in our awareness is not enough, understanding how to feed and dispose of the fundamental "waste" products of the land is not enough to harmonize with the planet either. We need to understand and develop a relationship with the head, the hopes and dreams of the land as well as the intellectual capacity and understanding the planet has with what goes on around and within it. When we begin to develop a relationship with the foundation of life, we can gain a better understanding of the whole. The natural phenomena that take place in and around us are mere reflections of the Earth but especially now, as the biological activity increases, it is easy to mistake the profusion of life that depends on the planet as the important part.

This week I have been coming to a much deeper understanding of this fact and this is what I have found. We typically go though life looking at the tops of great pyramids. We use the elements which we are aware of to navigate and create meaning in our lives. To begin to grasp this idea, say one pyramid (since it is topical at this particular moment) is religion. We conceptualize or see a pope, or the Buddha, perhaps a priest or pastor. We look to education and see a teacher or principal, perhaps a school board or state superintendent of public instruction. We go to a store and see the products on the shelves. Each of these "entities" or objects is dependent on a vast support system, nearly beyond our comprehension. Tens of thousands, millions, perhaps billions of discreet relationships were required to create each and every one of these towering pyramids, but we have been trained to think that the apex is the important part.

We have been led to this belief through our own hierarchy of needs, our desire to make sense of the world around us and the predominant focus on soaring heights rather than the basis of our existence. As long as we are willing to forget the foundations and revel in the uppermost part of the structures around us, we will miss the most important part of life itself and remain unable to come to terms with relationship. Like a pyramid, the lives of the slaves who created it are every bit as important as the Pharaohs whose tombs they were built to house. The ruling class has a good laugh at the expense of the lower classes, but without them, the entire system would collapse. I believe that if we went far enough back, the construction workers who built the pyramids would have joked that the first few slaves who were crushed under the extreme weight of the building blocks would work as lubricant and make the stones move more easily, but that if too many were crushed under the blocks it would make them more difficult to move. This dehumanization sounds crass, but we are far too willing to buy into the seductive belief that what we do is justifiable and that the goals which we have, no matter how high aloft, must rest on the exploitation of resources that we rely on for us to build to ever-higher levels. Exploitation rather than relationship are the watchwords of the failed systems, be they religious, economic, political or spiritual.

The value of and sheer number of people who have been willing to sacrifice themselves to the creation of the "pyramids" that we recognize today must be taken into account if we are to see the whole more clearly. Producing grain and meat in the Desert Southwest, or upon the Great Plains has depleted the largest aquifer in North America. The Colorado River has been reduced to a salty waste discharge in Mexico that never reaches the sea. The massive debt that has led to the formation of our food system has enslaved millions of farm workers. The "belief" in god has translated into exploitation and oppression of millions of souls for the enrichment of a precious few. Even the bald eagle cannot thrive without a billion minute creatures filling their specific niche in the environment. When we look deeply into any of the systems that lead to our current state of affairs, we will be struck with the power of relationship and the Earth itself only creates a stage upon which these relationships can be played out. Change never starts at the top. We are each responsible for making new foundations if we are to grow a new system that values relationship and humanity, true peace and security depend on relationship, not the soaring peaks of power and control.